Veloces (con Falquan): Delizioso Colla

I.

Hate.

Making.

Pizza.

Goddamned dough sticks to everything. It’s like I’m rubber and it’s glue and everything it comes into contact with is also glue. And F it too.

 

 

 

What? I’m not going to post a picture.

 

 

 

Little known fact, pizzas are made of hate.

Little known fact, pizzas are made of hate.

Shut up, I’m not proud.

8 comments to Veloces (con Falquan): Delizioso Colla

  • Just ’cause it aint purty, don’t mean it aint worth eatin’!

    …..

    Yes. I mean whatever it is you think I mean.

  • Falquan

    Do you know what that means?

    It means, that this damn pizza doesn’t work at all!

    For some reason I’m unable to put down enough flour or cornmeal or anything to make it properly slide and not adhere to all surfaces. It tasted fine, but the crust wasn’t properly crisp cause I couldn’t slide it off the peel. Which was actually a baking sheet for I don’t own a peel named Emma.

    Bazinga.

  • I own a pizza peel, muhguggah! Yeeyah! Also, stop keeping your bags in a freezer, helllo! And also, don’t chastise me for touching your bags. You know you like it ……

    …..yeah. You do.

    *Insert big smiley face here*

    Peach. It’s a thiiiiiing now. “BoopBoop!”

  • Amon-Rukh

    “Goddamned dough sticks to everything. It’s like I’m rubber and it’s glue and everything it comes into contact with is also glue.”
    Surely this is one of the great truths of the universe.

    Have you ever tried making Neapolitan-style pizza fritta? The dough gets fried, which seems like it would help reduce some of the steps that involve sticking. Also, fried dough.
    Granted, I have not attempted it yet myself, so I have no way of saying whether my theory will hold up or remain stuck to the cutting board. Probably the latter.

    • Falquan

      I haven’t tried that style, but my issue seems to be with the moving about of said dough. If it’s built on/in the pan in which the frying occurs, that could be a delightful solution. I mean, if you don’t like fried dough, you’re probably not human.

  • Amon-Rukh

    Then again, working the dough in the pan could lead to serious blistering… are we still talking about food?

  • [...] I’m also not sure we’re still talking about food. [...]

  • [...] has been rumored that pizzas are made of hate, but clearly Kanye West has cornered the [...]

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