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This is not my Real Life



I shouldn’t be able to make stuff like this.

Look away, it’s pornographic!

This is butternut shrimp scampi with rosemary linguini and nearly-garden peas. Parmigiano-Reggiano wisps atop for extra slut points.

This shouldn’t have occurred in my brain. It’s too advanced.

Hold me!

If I do anything like this ever again, I’ll […]